


Must be the Nargels

by Yamiga



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Family, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, New version of "Bloom", Past/Implied MPreg, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-12
Updated: 2015-08-06
Packaged: 2018-04-04 02:41:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 16,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4122892
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yamiga/pseuds/Yamiga
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Amongst the terrors Kaneki faced, Hide had offered him a “promise” for happiness and a better life. However things soon took a dire turn, shattering that chance of happiness. Now, three years later, already happy and stable within his new family, Haise may not be as willing to accept that promise that Kaneki had yearned for all that time ago.</p><p>---</p><p>Haise tries out a new cafe one day after work and can't help but feel a strange, yet familiar feeling towards a young toddler whom he happens to bump into.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

 

There was guilt written in Hide's expression as he held the stapled packed of papers. Something so light began to feel so heavy underneath his fingers. His grip seemed to tremble slightly as he stood in the center of the room, waiting for the dreaded response. He'd never been this frightened before in his life; not even Mr. Nishiki's beating could amount to the fear he felt at that very moment.

 

Across the room from him, sitting on the bed wearing a very puzzled expression, was Kaneki. For a few seconds, he'd kept his head in his hands, unsure of how to respond to Hide's sudden revelation. Now he gazed at Hide with eyes of uncertainty.

 

“Can...can you repeat that again?” Kaneki was the first to shatter the silence prompting Hide to raise an eyebrow. The tone in Kaneki's voice hinted disbelief and slight detachment. Hide could tell the half ghoul was, for lack of better word, confused. The information forced upon him was incomprehensible. _.._ unreal. It was just, impossible—for his understanding. And Hide, standing there, partially hoping for something else realized this...

 

He had made a mistake coming here.

 

_This isn't going to work...I should've never told him._ “It's fine Kaneki...I mean, I...” He didn't know what else to say. He took hold of the papers harder to halt his trembling hand. “You're so busy and you have a lot to do. You don't have time for this...” He forced a smile. “Sorry for...sorry for bothering you.” Hide turned quickly on his heel and made way to exit the room. He needed to leave the place before he started crying...before the other ghouls noticed him.

 

It was already pitiful, him trying to come here to get Kaneki to see his side of the whole situation. Hell, the way Kaneki looked at him...the way Kaneki put his head in his hands, said it all. Hide should've put Kaneki's feelings before his own, but he didn't. He should not have tried to seek Kaneki out, and throw such unwanted information in his path. Now they were both in a difficult situation—but Hide would take it upon himself to fix it. Like he always did...not just for himself, but for Kaneki as well. It didn’t matter if Hide wanted Kaneki's help, this was simply something he'd have to tackle on his own.

 

_Just run Hide...don't cry...not here of all places...run..._

 

“Hide.” Kaneki's voice resounded from somewhere down the hallway. Hide stopped for a few seconds before clenching his fists and running. He didn't want to hear anything Kaneki had to say. He just needed to sort things out, without any more nonsense or disappointments.

 

“Hide stop.” Within seconds, he felt the firm grip upon his arm, pulling him back. 

 

“Kaneki, please let go.” Hide begged. “I need to go home before it rain--”

 

“Please let me help you with this.” Kanek spun Hide around so that the two were now facing each other. His hands were back down by his side as he calmly gazed into Hide's brown eyes.

 

“You and I both know that...you...you can't-”

 

“You don't trust that I can deal with this situation? It's as much as my problem as it is yours.” Kaneki took a step towards Hide and continued to stare him down, making sure his gaze was somewhat intimidating.

 

“Kaneki you're going through a lot, and you know that...you don't need another...another problem to deal with_” His voice died down when he saw the glare in Kaneki's eyes. 

 

“You want me to use my emotional problems as an excuse so you can do this alone? Do you really have that _little_ faith in me Hide?” His tone was threatening, filled with a hidden amount of anger. 

 

The blond skipped a few breaths. 

 

He quickly shook his head in shock and disbelief. “I...no, that's not what I meant...I just....”

 

“I get it. That wasn't fair for me to say.” Kaneki knelt down in front of Hide and slowly unzipped the blond's rain coat. “This has been hard for me...but it's been hard for you too. I mean, you've been looking for me nonstop...you've risked your life for me...you've done everything for me. It doesn't matter how much I've changed...just, let me help you.”

 

There was a brief silence that passed as Kaneki pulled open the rain coat. Hide let a nervous breath escape his lips when Kaneki placed a hand upon his now, hardened stomach. With an open palm Kaneki rubbed the clothed surface for a few seconds before staring in mere disbelief. 

 

Hide glanced down to see the biggest, most genuine smile across Kaneki's face...it had to be the first time he'd smiled like this in months. It was almost as if all the terrors and hardships he'd faced before hand had been eradicated by this moment.

 

“Wow...” Kaneki breathed. “When...how...what's...what's the...is it a boy or girl?”

 

“I...I don't know yet. We won't figure out until later.” Hide stuttered, shocked by Kaneki's response. After a few more seconds in awe and hushed excitement, Kaneki closed Hide's green rain caot and stood. 

“I'm sorry if...if I ever made you think I didn't want to help you...but it's my problem—I'm not letting you do this by yourself.”

 

“Kaneki...you just...there's a lot going on_”

 

“Stop.” Kaneki glared, and silenced Hide. “Just..let me be happy. Let's both be happy, okay?” He took hold of Hide's hand's and held them tight. “Things aren't going to be easy but..we can manage this, okay? I just...I have to handle something first...”

 

Hide felt a dry lump form in his throat. He only wondered what Kaneki had to do...he feared it had something to do with Aogiri...or even the CCG. It was only a couple of months after the Raid, but he was still determined to fix things.

 

“Kaneki...”

 

“It's fine Hide, it's alright.” Kaneki roughly cut him off. “You don't need to worry about anything.”

 

“I just_”

 

“Come on Hide, it's raining outside. You can't go home...not now.” 

 

There were so many things Hide wanted to say. He could already sense that Kaneki's attitude towards him would change. But there wasn't anything he could do. He just needed to be happy that things were working out, somewhat, and whatever Kaneki had in store for the next few months, he'd hoped to be good. 

 

OoOoOoOoOoOoOo

 

Near three years later, Hideyoshi Nagachika woke up to the same pounding headache that dream left him with. 

 

He sat up, in sweat and dried tears, allowing the sun light to cascade his face. Still and stationary, he allowed his body to heal itself. The blood from his head began to drift to the other parts of his body, relieving the stress and pressure he felt. His migraine slowly faded away leaving him with nothing but the sensation of eternal drowsiness. 

 

_Another long day at work._

 

Hide thought, still in the same position.

 

He took a heavy, rather painful breath, as he reflected on that dream. The same scene played over and over again, for a few nights now. It was just as real as if he'd physically relived it, over and over again, hoping for some different outcome.

 

But things stayed the same...

 

Kaneki made a promise that he simply couldn't keep.

 

He'd left one day, and he'd never returned.

 

That's how the dream went, that's how reality went....

 

_Except he **had** returned... _ But not nearly the way Hide had expected....

 

“Daddy...” He hadn't even heard the door open, when the sound of two little scurrying feat could be heard amongst the wooden floor that morning. Hide waited, already expecting his little intruder around that time. It was morning after after all. 

 

“It's time...it's time to get up...” The little voice echoed through the small wooden room prompting Hide to gaze towards its general direction. 

 

“I know, Ken.” He breathed quietly. “I know.”

 

His gaze rested upon the small yet energetic child. He stood there innocently, like Kaneki had all those years ago, swaying back and forth upon the balls of his heels. His loose, blond bangs obscured his vision so every so often, prompting him to move them from his face, revealing a spitting image of Kaneki Ken, his father. 

 

Hide laughed slightly before standing up and approaching the small toddler. “Ready for work today, Ken?” Rather instinctively, he bent down and lifted his son, holding him in his arms. “I wanna eat first.” He blinked in anticipation. As he did so, Hide caught glimpse of his glowing, red eye.

 

“I'll make you something to eat...but after we get cleaned up. Then we'll open up the cafe okay?”

 

Little Ken smiled within his father's grasp.

 

“Okay...” He mumbled quietly, before closing his eyes and resting them upon Hide's chest.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The theme of this story is of course hidekane/hidehaise, but more than anything I wanna focus on family, and how hard it is for a kid growing up without two parents while he's around someone, who has a family with both parents. Hope you enjoy. And like I said, this is like the second version of “Bloom” hopefully the one that'll last. So I changed it up a bit. It won't be nearly as wild as Bloom was. It will have some original characters not including the kids, but it'll stick to the plot. 
> 
> Warnings: Saddness, original characters.

 

Hide started the usual morning routine by turning on the bathroom water. The lukewarm liquid began to fill the tub and instantly, a very naked yet excited Ken jumped over the ledge and sunk in. Hide sat on the ledge of the tub tentatively as the little boy took scoops of water in his hands and watched it slip through his fingers. This happened every morning since he'd been able to clean himself and he still couldn't quite understand what water was and how it was so transparent yet visible.

 

Ken's curiosity was a lot larger than he could contain in his small, pudgy body. Hide liked to compare him to a puppy. He was energetic and always sticking his nose into things that interested him, even things that were dangerous.

 

“Are you going to get cleaned?” Ken asked in a rather loud voice, formulating the words the best he could. Hide, from the ledge gazed at his son and smiled.

 

“No Ken.” He replied. “I cleaned up last night....do you need me to help you this time?” The question was more instinct as he saw Ken dumping some water on top of his light blond hair hair. However, the toddler quickly shook his head and continued to clean himself under Hide's watchful eye. Of course, Hide had to handle the soap and a few other things, but for the most part, as long as Ken believed he did all of the work then everything would be okay.

 

After wards, the daily routine continued as Ken hopped out of the shower and Hide dried him. He ran the towel through the little blond's hair and over his murky skin until there wasn't a drop of water left. After that, he dressed him in a simple blouse that they both buttoned up together, and small gray pants.

Hide picked him up and held him, as he walked towards the mirror. With Ken in his arms, the two stood before the glass and looked at their reflections making sure they looked ready to take the day. Hide, noticing that Ken's bangs were in his face began to move them so that his eyes were visible. Ken was busy looking at Hide's hair.

 

“Why is yours brown, but mine is yellow?” He asked, turning around and grabbing a chunk of Hide's hair much harder than he thought he was.

 

“Ouch! Ken....my hair is,” He began, removing his son's hand. “brown because it turned brown. My hair was like yours at first—blond, not yellow—but yours will change colors before you turn twelve.” Ken didn't quite understand what Hide meant, but that was fine. The two continued to stare in the mirror. That day, Hide sported a T-shirt and jeans; a little more casual than his son. All the while, gazing at their reflection, Hide felt like he was holding a little Kaneki—not just physically but emotionally as well. Frightened and innocent, he clung to Hide as a source of life. Hide supposed that was the similarity both Ken and Kaneki shared, they both depended on him...up until a certain point. Hide just hoped Ken wouldn't abandon him as Kaneki had. Not just during that six month period, but when he needed Kaneki the most.

 

Eventually, Hide had made it out of the back and into the main cafe. It was a standard set up. There were the large walls with pictures of foreign countries on them, and large foreign words written on top of the wall paper. There was the front desk with the cash register behind it. There were also large containers on the side of the desk that held various pastries and bottled drinks like juice, milk and iced-tea. In the back, behind the desk area was of course the kitchen. It wasn't big yet it wasn't small. Of medium size, it made it easier for the chef to get around. Right outside the kitchen, still in the area of the front desk was a counter top along the wall with various coffee makers and blenders upon it.

 

At that moment, Hide happened to be making a cup of coffee. As usual, black and sugarless. Not too hot, but not cold either. A small, cup with a heat protector around it and a lid that made it easier for drinking. After he'd completed the task, he took the cup and made way past the front desk into the main area of the cafe where Ken had migrated to, and was waiting patiently at one of the tables. His little eyes opened wide when Hide had arrived with the coffee cup. “It's hot, so be careful.” Hide warned with a smile on his face, placing the cup upon the table. Ken greedily grabbed it and pressed it to his lips, drinking it with caution. Hide's next task was to open the curtains to allow natural light into the establishment. So slowly, he made way to the windows and began moving the curtains, allowing a ray of sunlight to enter the restaurant. As he did so, he heard the key turning in the front entry.

 

The door opened and from the corner of his eye, Hide spotted two beings step through the threshold allowing more sunlight to enter with them. The visitor bell rang overhead, followed by the familiar sound of tiny shoes running against the wooden floor. Hide could already hear the exhilarated gasps of joy coming from not one, but two toddlers. Hide glanced over his shoulder and watched as the two boys met in the center of the cafe and embraced each other. He giggled slightly, seeing the sprightly smile on both of the toddlers faces as they held on to one another.

 

“Sorry for coming in late,” Sounding from the door, a soothing voice articulated in an all to familiar fashion grabbed Hide's attention. “I hardly had any sleep—the baby was screaming all night, and that kept everyone up. And there was traffic on the road.” The door shut as he stepped through. “But it's good to see that you and Ken are up and ready, Hide.” The brunette turned from the window and faced the individual now sitting down at the table, stretching.

 

“I didn't sleep well either...I'm having those dreams again...” Hide replied with a frown and lethargically made way towards the table where he pulled out a chair and sat. “They're just so...real and painful, and when I wake up and see Ken staring at me...it's like I'm looking right at_” He didn't finish the sentence, the visitor did for him. “Kaneki,” He cut in. “perhaps this is a form of connection? A dream. It's not very odd, however, dreams are a lot more than records repeating themselves as we sleep.” He went on to speak, standing and walking towards the back and Hide eventually followed behind him. That day he seemed a bit more tired than normal, as he had explained he'd lacked sleep th night before. As usual, he sported a black blouse, and black slacks accompanied with a white apron bearing the restaurant's logo. His thin rimmed glasses rested upon the bridge of his nose, just below his bored eyes nearly covered by his bangs.

 

“You could try therapy you know. Though find someone you trust...” He continued talking and went on to the kitchen where Hide followed. Hide watched as he , with speed, turned on all the stoves and made way to the coffee makers, behind the front desk, and switched them on.

 

“I don't like the idea of a therapist that much, I don't think this can be fixed by a professional visit, besides I don't have the money.” Hide admitted.

 

“You know I wouldn't have a problem giving you some money for your troubles.” He turned around with a smile on his face, grinning at Hide. Hide had stared at him in shock, blushing out of embarrassment. He'd done a lot of shameful things in the past (he'd like to think) but he couldn't stand allowing others to give him money, especially those who had already done so much for him. “Oh Hide, you're turning red.” The brunette blinked suddenly and shook his head, still staring forward. “I couldn't possibly ask for your money...not after all you've done for me, Keiichi...I couldn't ask you for more.”

 

“Never be ashamed if you're asking a friend for help.” Keiichi, corrected, exiting the front desk area and heading towards the other side where the pastry holders were. Hide noticed however, that he made a detour towards the floor where the boys were sitting together. In general, Keiichi was a short person for his age. His skin was more than often very pale as if the sun couldn't do its job right. His hair, that stopped an inch or so below his collar was dark blue; his bangs mostly crept over his glasses obscuring his vision. In general, he resembled a young, timid girl; his height for a twenty three year old was abnormal and his soft, facial features didn't help him. For the most part, despite the fact that his own children thought him to be a girl, he seemed fine when people confused him.

 

“Boys,” Hide heard him muttering. “Off of the floor that's dirty—yes, Ken very good. The chair is your friend, it's clean. Oh Koiichi, off of the floor...don't eat that...good grief.” Hide giggled a bit peering over the counter where he saw the squabble. Koiichi, Keiichi's son sat across the table from Ken. Like Ken he wore a blouse and pants, and like Ken he was three. And quite inevitably, Ken was Koiichi's best friend and Koiichi was Ken's best friend. They'd clicked the moment they saw each other when they were babies. Koiichi however, unlike Ken, never showed that much emotion on his face; rarely, if ever, did he smile. He was always a sad looking boy whose eyelids seemed to be on the verge of closing. He was tan, and a brunette with shaggy hair that almost covered his tired eyes. Despite his weary expression, he and Ken were the best of friends. That was something Hide was very grateful for.

 

Hide snapped back into reality when he saw Keiichi checking the pastries through the large windows visible through the pastry holder. Hide was quick to join him. “I think we should throw these out Hide, they've been out too long what do you think?” Hide simply nodded, not really thinking. The pastries looked good enough to him. “And oh,” Keiichi continued. “next week, I'll be getting Ken some human meat—this time it will last him longer.” Hide took a deep breath and this time, genuinely nodded. He was relieved.

 

“That's good to hear...Thank you...not just for this, but for everything.” Times like this were when Hide really began to feel guilty. His mind would always drift back to the night when he was running away while holding a little newborn in his arm, screaming for help as the hunger stricken, purple haired, depressed ghoul chased after him. He didn't think he'd survive the night, he didn't think Ken would either. But a miracle had surely occurred that night, and it happened at this small cafe, all thanks to Keiichi. 

 

“Don't mention it.” Keiichi had vanished for a few seconds. Hide took the time to throw away the various pastries and make way to the kitchen to retrieve some ingredients for coffee and more pastries. Eventually, the blue haired employee had returned to the desk with a smile on his face around the same time Hide had. “I flipped the sign, so let's start making pastries. Boys,” He called out to the toddlers sitting at the table. “go upstairs, please. Oh and Hide,” he continued, prancing to the kitchen once again. Hide instinctively followed him. “today is my three year wedding anniversary, so if you may, can Koiichi stay with you and Ken over night? We're taking his little brother out with us to eat...he and Koiichi don't get along and the baby only likes to be with his dad.”

 

“That's fine! I don't mind watching him at all...I just, well congratulations on your three year marriage!” Hide exclaimed with a smile on your face. “Thank you, and that's great.” Keiichi chuckled in return from his place by the stoves, glancing over his shoulder and casting a mischievous grin on his face. “And people said a twenty three year old couldn't keep a marriage with a thirty two year old.” He skipped to the refrigerator and retrieved a bag of cold dough. “And it means so much to me that you'll babysit Koiichi...thank you Hide.”

 

“Don't thank me, I owe you my—”

 

“Don't mention it Hide.” Keiichi politely warned, back at his cooking area. “Let's just get to making these pastries...the boys are upstairs and the customers will be here soon.” Hide responded with a hopeful smile.

OooOoOoOoOo

That morning, Haise had just been recovering from a headache he'd assumed was acquired through stress. The night before, he'd been reflecting on, and outlining some of the information given to him by Fueguchi. Most of what he had down, written in a spiral, were jumbled up notes and illegible paragraphs that had been bunched together due to his hand slipping off of the page as he attempted not to fall asleep. Even now, he was fighting the urge to keep his eyes open and not walk into the nearest wall or into the closest investigator that came his direction. 

 

However, no matter how exhausted or tired he was, Haise only hoped that these notes and information were good enough for Arima's taste. After all, the only reason he stayed up for hours upon hours writing and practically crafting a poorly written essay going over the topic of Fueguchi's information was because of Arima. The day before, he had called Haise on urgent business expressing the need for the two to meet in regards to Fueguchi's information. He'd call a meeting scheduled for the next morning in the director chairman’s office. And as of current, that was where Haise was heading, whilst swaying back and forth and attempting to keep the notebook in a sturdy grasp. 

 

Haise charged forward down the hallway, towards the directors office, getting more and more anxious with every step he took. He wondered if this information was good enough for Arima—he also wondered if his recent talks with Fueguchi had anything to do with the strange feeling he'd been experiencing over the past few weeks. He couldn't quite describe this feeling, all he knew was that it was quite foreboding. Recently, he'd been afraid that something close to him would be taken away so swiftly, something he cared about...like his family, the Quinx. As they were the most important people to him, he didn't like this sense of dread he'd been feeling as of recent. And to make things even more strange, the little voice in his head, the small child with white hair, had seemed to grow silent. He didn't know what to think but he didn't like it, not one bit. 

 

Haise eventually dragged himself down the hallway to the director's office, where he was scheduled to meet Arima at that time. Unluckily, much to his dismay and horror the large, elaborate sculpted, most likely mahogany wooden door, was closed shut. In anger, Haise wanted nothing but to tear it and all it's elegance down. He hadn't showed up to the location a second late and it appeared that Arima had either not made it yet, or was elsewhere. The half ghoul yearned to be in bed, stealing just a few extra minutes of sleep, yet here he was, waiting for a man who wasn't even there. In defeat and exhaustion, Haise found himself ungracefully sliding to the ground against the door.

 

With his ear pressed against the firm wood, he made way to close his eyes however, he heard something. Curiously, his eye fluttered open as voices began to grow with clarity in the director's room. The first voice he heard was masculine, and after a few seconds of pondering he realized this was Arima's. Oddly, Arima didn't sound as soft spoken as he normally did, at all. Even listening to his muffled voice through the door, Haise could hear a type of aggravation he'd never heard before. The second voice was a lot more mellow, yet it held as much anger as Arima's did. It was familiar and calm, but Haise couldn't put his finger on just who it may have belonged too— The office door flung open inflicting upon Haise immediate damage. It hit him in the face causing him to fall rather ungracefully upon the ground. He saw a pair of feet standing idly near his head after exiting the room. Straightening himself back up he stood disoriented, and realized that Arima had been holding open the door and out walked the owner of the other voice Haise had heard. Take Hirako. 

 

As usual, or from what Haise remembered, he wore his dark suit attire. His face still retained the stature of either exhaustion or sadness, with his eyelids on the verge of closing and like always there wasn't a smile on his face. Of course, at that moment Haise greeted him and Hirako returned with a nod of the head before walking off. As the half ghoul stared down the hallway, he couldn't help but remember the last time he'd seen him, which was before the auction raid. He'd heard his arm had been stabbed several times but Haise was unclear of his condition. It was good to see that he was okay.

 

Stepping forward next was Arima who greeted Haise with a calm smile. Judging by his demeanor it was evident that he wasn't angry anymore. So kindly Haise greeted him back. “It appears you have an attraction to the floor.” Arima remarked, causing Haise to giggle. He blushed in embarrassment. “I tripped and...ugh...yeah.” Haise, in defeat stepped forward with the spiral in his hand. “I um...here's the outline for the information you requested, we can go over it and—“ Arima, calmly gazing down at Haise held a hand up. “Actually today wouldn't be such a good day. I have some other matters to attend to, I'll see you later Haise. I hope it wasn't much trouble for you to make it here this early.” Instinctively, Arima rubbed Haise's shoulder before taking his leave down the hallway. 

 

Haise stood there for a minute and fought back tears. Yet instead of giving in, he decided he'd go home and go to sleep. However, he was pretty sure he looked like a mess, so before he went home, he thought it would wise to at least glance of himself in the bathroom. So after a few seconds of tirelessly walking in the opposite direction, Haise had reached the men's room and instantly made way to the mirror. Oddly, near Haise just in front of the sink next to his, stood Hirako. Haise hadn't noticed him until he'd turned on the sink. It didn't seem like he noticed Haise either, or he was just planning to ignore his presence. 

 

Haise, not being one for strange silences decided to initiate a conversation while the older investigator washed his hands. “It's nice to see that you've recovered after the auction raid. I hear those wounds were bad—” 

 

“They haven't healed yet.” Hirako corrected, looking ahead in the mirror. Things of course went quiet again as Haise continued to fix his messy hair. He assumed bringing up the injury hit a very uncomfortable nerve for Hirako so Haise felt the need to redeem himself. “We missed you at the Christmas party, I...I mean we, would've been happy to see you there. I would've liked to get to know you better.” He waited in silence as the older man came up with a response. “I was busy.” Hirako replied in a pestered tone. 

 

“Well you seem to be friendly anyway...” Haise took a deep breath feeling that hostile air once again, so he pressed on. “You know, to make up for your absence at the dinner, why don't we go out eating tonight? Just the two of us, I know a good restaurant.” Haise just realized how odd that sounded, and Hirako pretty much caught on to it as well. At that time he'd turned off the sink.

 

“I'm busy tonight...” He saved Haise an embarrassing remark, thankfully. “I'm going out to dinner with someone else tonight, my spouse; It's our wedding anniversary.” Haise felt that Hirako simply added that part because the earlier dinner invitation had made him very uncomfortable and the half ghoul felt bad. “Oh, that's...congratulations I didn't know you were married.” 

 

“Nobody really does.” Take replied in a rather seldom manner.

 

“Well, that must be nice to have a care free night you know. With you and your special someone, just eating and enjoying...each others...presence...” He was running out of things to say and needed a better form of redemption. He half hoped that Take couldn't tell he was trying to make up for his idiotic words he'd muttered before.

 

“It won't be very carefree, we have to take our youngest son out eating with us because he can't get along with his brother.” Hirako sounded rather exhausted, as if this was a problem he'd dealt with every day at home. Haise took this as an opportunity to lighten the mood. “Well after a stressful evening like that, maybe you and I can grab a drink or two. You can forget all about your son and your anniversary!”

 

Hirako gave him some type of astonished look before exiting the bathroom. That was the most emotion Haise had ever seen on the older investigators face and that didn't seem like a good thing. 

OoOoOoOoOoOo

 

Haise had made it home, a lot less exhausted than before. As he expected his squad, currently sat in the living room. Shirazu and Saiko were of course feet a away from the TV with controllers in their hands. Mutsuki was sitting on the sofa quietly, reading a book. The trio seemed to perk up when Haise knocked on the door frame.

 

“Hello guys!” He greeted. 

 

“You're back earlier than you said.” Mutsuki breathed, glancing towards Haise. Haise smiled. “Yeah, I um...something didn't go right, anyway, where is Urie?” Haise took his shoes off an eventually found a seat towards Mutsuki on the couch. The green haired investigator scooted to the side a bit, giving his squad leader some room. 

 

“He said something about talking to Kuroiwa and another investigator, he didn't tell us that much.” Mutsuki responded.

 

“Ah, well he'll come back later then.” Haise stretched and grew silent. Mutsuki returned to reading his novel while the other two began to fight over who was better or nor at their video game. In silence, Haise watched his squad's interaction and couldn't help but feel a sense of pride grow within him. Seeing how far they'd all come and seeing how joyous they were around each other made Haise happy. He wouldn't have it any other way. He wouldn't give this family, _his_ family up for the world.

 

However, with that thought in mind, Haise's  **headache** slowly, yet steadily began to return. With it, came that familiar sharp pain within the pit of his eyeballs. He grunted and placed a hand upon his face for relief and in one, very split second, it was as if he'd seen the silhouette of a young blond man looking at him with a blank expression and after that, the vision had vanished.

 

“Sasaki-san...are you alright...?” Mutsuki's voice broke through his anguish. He expected his discomfort was visible on his face. “Yeah,” He stood promptly. “I just need to lay down for a minute.”

 

OoOoOoOoOoO

When Hide's lunch break rolled around he found himself upstairs with little Ken in his lap, holding a book so the both of them could read it. It wasn't really a book suited for Hide's taste, it was more of an early learning book for a three year old. As usual, Hide pointed at the words and pictures on the pages and Ken tried and succeeded in reading and identifying them. He was a fast learner, just like Kaneki. He loved reading books and was always up to more and more of a challenge. 

 

At that moment, in the middle of while Ken was pointing at the picture above a word, Hide couldn't help but think of Kaneki. He remembered a time when the two were in class and the teacher had picked on Kaneki to read a passage. Though nervous, he read to the best of his abilities and almost everyone was surprised, even the teacher herself.

 

Looking back at his son now, it was quite painful knowing just where Kaneki was at that moment. Hide had heard the rumors, and he'd seen the proof....but “Kaneki” wasn't really Kaneki, he was...Haise__

 

In the midst of his thought, he was disturbed when Ken roughly elbowed his side. “Ouch Ken,” Hide stammered. “What was that for...” His voice grew silent when he saw just what Ken was pointing at. The illustrated page depicted a very tall man dressed in a nice suit, walking forward with a lady grabbing on to his arm. She held in her other arm a little boy around Ken's age,who was smiling. Hide realized that this was the perfect family structure. Two parents, and a child, all happy together and unluckily for him, Ken realized this as well. 

 

“That...says...family...” Ken started. “All of them together are a family...the kid is like Koiichi...he has two parents.” Hide couldn't stop the pain that grew within his heart. He could see the look of confusion in the young boy's eyes, as if he didn't understand why he and Hide couldn't replicate that set up. “And he,” Ken pointed at the man, the husband. “Is the daddy, just like Koiichi's.” Things grew quiet as the little blond ghoul rubbed his palm upon the glossy page. It was as if the mere touch of the picture would somehow magically make it so that Ken's “dad” walked through the door. “Why,” He started up again. “don't we have one? Why don't we have someone like Koiichi's dad?”

 

Hide's lips parted nervously over and over again as he attempted to come up with a reasonable excuse as to why they weren't the way the stupid book depicted them. “K...Ken, even though it's just the two of us, we still have a big family right? We're perfect, and even Keiichi and Koiichi are in our family...sometimes, families aren't,” Hide tossed the book aside and pulled Ken closer, embracing his tiny, squishy frame from behind. “like the families we see every day on TV, or even in books. But just because a family looks strange, or doesn't look normal, doesn't mean it's not a family.” Hide held Ken for a few more seconds until he let off a sigh. His lunch break had ended a while a go and he needed to be back at the register. “I've gotta go, Ken. See you in a bit.” Ken simply nodded as Hide released his son and stood, seconds later Ken was left in the room alone.

 

The toddler remained still on the bed, with his hands in his lap. He clenched the fabric on his pants as an attempt to lessen the terrible feeling in his heart. He couldn't quite explain it to himself...it was odd, but nonetheless painful, as if there was a hand in his chest, squeezing his insides. Before he knew it, his eyes were watery and tears fell down his cheeks, on to his pants. He started shaking a bit, and gasping as his lips parted, releasing small sobs. 

 

He was sad. As sad as a confused toddler could be.

 

In the midst of his tears, the door opened up with some struggle, and in came little Koiichi with another book in his hands. Like he'd been taught, he shut the door behind him our of courtesy. Seconds later he was rushing over to the bed, still wearing the same bleak and exhausted expression. Though he seemed to be excited about something as he jumped on the mattress next to his friend. “Look at this book I have...” He mumbled. “it has a lot more pictures than...why are you crying?” Koiichi, sensing the distress Ken felt, tossed the book aside, and placed a hand on his friend's shoulder. “What's wrong Ken? Do you want candy?” Koiichi asked slowly. 

 

“I just want...I just want to have a daddy too.” Ken admitted, crying even more. “L...like you.”

 

“But you do have one. You have Hide, Ken.” Koiichi replied, not quite understanding of the situation. “Don't cry please.”

 

“N...no like you...you have two parents...I only have one...You have a really tall dad who always picks you up when he sees you, and hugs you and gives your little brother toys...and then sometimes he takes you all home...and you all are a big family! I want a daddy too but I don't have one! My daddy doesn't love me...” Ken went on to put his head in his little hands and cry hysterically in the typical three year old manner. His nose was running, his face was red, and half the time he spoke, he wasn't even saying the words right. His little heels were kicking up against the bed and he simply couldn't help himself. All the while, Koiichi watched not sure whether to feel sad or guilty. Being his age, he couldn’t understand why his family was the way it was, and Ken's wasn't. He loved his dads, his brother, his dogs...he loved his family...but seeing his best friend like this made him hurt more than anything inside. So he had to do something.

 

“Daddies aren't all that great Ken.” Koiichi rubbed his friend's back. “My dad is mean sometimes. He won't let me eat after my dogs or give them my food, and sometimes when he catches me taking candy out of his suitcase he gets mad. He also looks sad all the time and I don't know why...” Ken was still moping, however his tears had subsided somewhat. Koiichii scooted closer to him and put and arm around his shoulder.

 

“Everyone has a daddy Ken. Sometimes though, they just get scared and they run away. But daddies will always come back Ken, your daddy will come back too.” Around that time, Ken wiped his little tears away and managed a makeshift smile. 

 

“Do you think he'll really come back? Do you think he'll like me.”

 

“Of course he will. And he won't like you, he'll _love_ you.” And with that, Koiichi pulled Ken into the tightest hug, and Ken returned the sentiment and hugged Koiichi back.

OoOoOoOoOoO

 

Sometime just after sunset, Haise's headaches had returned. He figured that he could've taken some medicine, that would have after all been efficient. But at the same time, he thought it better to get a breath a fresh air, and maybe take a walk outside. So getting out of bed, dressing himself a bit more and combing his hair into a somewhat presentable fashion, Haise found himself trotting into the living room where his squad, excluding Urie, had remained on the sofa, watching a movie.

 

The half ghoul made it to the door before knocking on the frame, grabbing their attention. “I'm going out, do you guys wanna come?” In a very possessed manner, the three of them were quick to decline his offer. “Suit yourselves.” Haise mumbled before exiting the chateau and leaving his squad by behind.

In a little less than ten minutes, Haise found himself down a familiar road to a very cozy and strangely nostalgic cafe. That cafe of course being Cafe :Re. It had been a while since he'd been but, he looked forward to going again. Perhaps he could spark a conversation with the young waitress that worked there—Touka was her name. Haise had been meaning to speak to her though; he hadn't quite gotten the chance. Now would be his chance.

 

However, as the determined half ghoul made way down the semi-crowded pathway that night, he realized, upon crossing the street, the the cafe was closed. The lights were off, there was no blinking sign, it was closed. Haise internally sighed, and decided to re-route his direction. His first instinct was to go back to the chateau, but he feared his headaches would return. It was something about being out of the house, away from the Quinx and CCG, that helped dull the pain radiating in his head. Haise couldn't quite make out why, either. So pressing on, he took a detour that led him to a fairly active shopping district, a plaza almost. There were small stores surrounding the place, bearing clothes and other types of materials up to date with the latest fashion, but nothing caught Haise's attention more than the blinking sign coming from a cafe that seemed to stick out from all the clothing stores the plaza had to offer. Instinctively, Haise's feet began to pull him towards the medium sized establishment; it was as if he was working on autopilot.

OoOoOoOoOoO

 

Inside the restaurant, Hide had just finished cleaning out the coffee mugs and shutting off the stoves. He'd had his last customer that day and was pretty impressed that he could handle everything by himself, with two toddlers running around at that. And speaking of the little toddlers, they found themselves preoccupied with other things in the cafe, for instance, pushing in all the chairs under the tables. This was a pet peeve of Hide's, when customers left it to the tiny staff to push in their chairs. Ken had no doubt adopted this anger. As of present, with his little ghoul strength, he pushed the chairs underneath the tables with Koiichi's help. He mimicked Hide's angry face, causing Koiichi to grow concerned. 

 

“Your face is scrunched like an angry cat Ken. It makes you look ugly.” He called from his table, making sure the chair was tucked up underneath.

 

“I know it just gets me sad.” Ken replied, angrily. “People are bad.”

 

Koiichi opened his mouth for a response, but the two were caught off guard when the front door opened and someone stepped inside. Abandoning their positions and going towards each other, both Koiichi and Ken looked into the eyes of a tall man with strange hair, as they'd described it. It was white all around except for the top, which was black. He wore a a black shirt and ugly striped pants. 

 

Both boys continued to look up in fear and amusement. The two of them really hadn't been this close to a customer. Sure they had seen them whenever they'd had a chance to sneak downstairs and steal candy, but they'd always be behind the front desk. They had never been close enough to touch one; their parents had never permitted it. But yet, here they were, face to face with an oddly dressed man.”

 

“Hello.” Both boys muttered in unison.

 

The man's eyes opened wide for a second before he shut both, and he slowly  rose a hand to cover one of them. He stepped forward and then back, nearly tripping over himself. When finally, he'd regained his balance, he still clutched his head even tighter... Eventually, he'd opened one eye and caught himself one last time before falling. At that moment, his lips parted and with a quiet voice, he muttered “Ken...is that...is that you?”

OoOoOoOoOo

 

Haise didn't know what came over him. One second he was looking at two little boys, the next second, it seemed as if a whirlpool of memories were thrust into his mind...someone else's memories. He saw a blond man he didn't know, standing in front of him and weeping...he felt himself hugging this man, comforting him and saying sweet hings. Seconds later he jumped back into reality, tripping over himself and clenching his eye in pain. It was then, he felt the frantic hands of toddlers pulling at his pant legs, and eventually pushing him into a chair.

 

“Are you okay Mister!?” One shouted.

 

“You're bleeding mister!! From your eye! Let go of it! Let go!” The other resounded. They were both still pulling at him, and making the situation even worse. He had to clam down before he lost himself again.

 

_ Breathe...breathe...breathe... _

 

_ Who is Ken? Ken Kaneki...I don't....I don't understand?  _ Barely, he opened both his eyes to get a look at the tiny children standing before him. They both came into view, clearer than before and much more visible. One was a brunette, with sad eyes and an even sadder expression, the other one was blond, with wide eyes and a curious expression. For the longest time, Haise simply gazed at the blond one, feeling that familiar pain in his head. He'd seen that boy somewhere before....in the deepest darkest parts of his mind, with that one red eye glowing...

 

_ Please don't erase me....please don't.... _

 

Haise continued to stare with a chilling fear prickling down his spine. The child in his head had vanished, and had suddenly appeared before him. He didn't know what to think, he didn't know how to react. This was bad news, these children were bad news, this  _ child  _ was bad news.

 

_ Get out of here Haise! Get out of here! This is bad, this is bad...another person from you past, push them out, push them out.... _

OoOoOoOoOoOoOo

 

The kids were still worried and complaining, tugging on Haise and attempting to see if he could move. In the midst of their frenzy, the strange man stood. He'd regained himself and made way shakily to his feet. Frightened once again, the two kids backed up as he stared at them. Strangely, one of his eyes shined a pale red; this caused the kids to disperse towards each other, a few feet away from him. 

 

“I have to go...” He muttered. “I have to go...I have to go...” They would've cried if he didn't begin his walk towards the exit, swaying back and forth like a confused drunkard. His hand had gripped the door knob and he prepared to twist it open but suddenly, he stopped in place, and threw an exhausted, confused gaze over his shoulder..

 

“Can I....can I come back another day...?” His voice was a hushed whisper, but the boys still heard it perfectly. 

 

Both boys nodded. 

OoOoOoOoOoOo

 

Hide heard the front door close and instantly spun out of the kitchen. “Hey, we aren't open...” The brunette called, entering the dining area. “Come back tomorrow...” Hide stopped realizing the visitor had already left. Sighing, he walked further into the cafe, however, he stopped suddenly when he saw both boys standing near a table, hugging each other as if they'd seen a ghost. 

 

“Ken, Koiichi...you know you aren't supposed to be down here...go upstairs and get ready for bed, both of you.” Hide crossed his arms. “Now.”

 

“B...but daddy_” Ken started.

 

“There was a weird man that came in with ugly hair.” Koiichi finished.

 

“No buts, go upstairs now, both of you...” He watched as the two toddlers moped past him. When they'd left the dining area, he simply sighed and pushed in some chairs that the customers had left out. It was that moment, he realized the sign on the outside of the cafe was still switched to 'OPEN'. No wonder he'd gotten a visitor after hours. 

 

Fowning, Hide exited the restaurant, stepping out into the warm night. He grabbed the sign in the front of the restaurant and turned it around so that it read 'CLOSED'. Before he went back inside, he looked around the main plaza mall and saw that most people were still out. Hide also looked farther a head, towards the intersection a few hundred feet away from the cafe. As he did so, he caught the sight of a stranger walking away. This had no relevance to him at the moment, it was just odd. He wondered if this was the man who'd come into the restaurant earlier. 

 

Without much thought, Hide went back inside, and prepared himself for bed.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No. I'm not making Urie out to be a bad guy just because he didn't show up. I've got something else in store for him in this story *COUGH TAKUKI, COUGH...so yeah...  
> Also, Hide is so freaking lonely in TG that in most of my stories I add original characters to help him because I don't know what to do! I just hate thinking he has to do everything by himself. And I guess I wanted Hide to have someone who could really help him, but wasn't like a Kaneki replacement. And I also wanted someone that could connect really well with Ken..So I hop you like the little familiy structure. And I know at some parts Ken and Koi were funny, but I was really just taking Ken's personality from my own when I was little. Little Ken and I are going through the same thing, except I wasn't as sad, but I was still, sad. I had a friend like Koiichi who had a "family family" and I was always confused.   
> But I hope you liked this chapter.
> 
> Please tell me what you think. This was eleven pages so I'd really like feedback!  
> Have a nice night!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gosh...I accidentally deleted chapter three trying to fix something...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for everyone who left positive feedback and kudos. That means a lot to me! I hope you guys enjoy this chapter! And please, if you do like his chapter at all...leave a comment. That would mean so much to me, honestly. I love writing and I love reading feed back. That really fuels me! So thank you and enjoy.

As Haise returned home that night, he felt extremely uneasy.

 

Sneaking back into the house, he realized that the rest of his squad was already asleep, locked away in their rooms. Haise scurried to his bedroom where he quickly shut the door behind him and changed. Crawling into bed, the ghoul investigator felt sick to his stomach. As he rested his head upon his pillow, he realized that the “other” side of him had become more and more prominent. He didn't know what to make of it...he was still so confused.

 

_That cafe...that boy..._ yet another problem Haise had upon his hands. He figured that this had to be associated with his past—this feeling, the boy, and lastly, that crying blond he'd seen in his vision earlier that day. 

 

He didn't know who they were...he didn't know what to think but he was certain that he  _didn_ 't belong with them. This was his place here, with the CCG and the Quinx. His family. He knew that the blond boy and the small child were connected to Kaneki Ken's past...but they weren't a part of his life. He wished to keep it that way.

 

Haise sighed and extended a hand, turning of the lamp that stood on the nightstand.

 

Unluckily, the darkness didn't grant him a bit of solace or peace.

 

OoOoOoOoOoO

 

Hide had just finished putting both boys to bed.

 

Pulling the blanket over their small, soft bodies, he gazed at them in slight envy. How he wished he was an oblivious three year old. Sheltered by everyone and unaware of the responsibilities of the world outside.

 

Sighing, Hide placed a kiss on both of their foreheads and made way to exit the room. Aside from the two looking peaceful, he couldn't help but remember just how shocked he'd seen them minutes ago in the restaurant. He wondered what had startled the two so much. It looked as if they'd both seen a ghost.

 

Eventually, Hide left their room and headed to his own. Quietly, he entered the lonesome area, closing the door behind him. Luckily, the little night light was on giving him slight visibility. Steadily, he made way to his bed where, taking off his shoes, he sat and crawled under the covers. Hide prepared to turn off the night light however, something clicked in the back of his head. Sitting up, he reached towards his small bed stand where he pulled out one of the wooden drawers. Uncertain and nervous, Hide took out a small, ill treated note book. He shut the drawer and held the spiral in both of his hands.

 

Opening it, the first thing that caught his eye was the medium sized picture of he and Kaneki. Even with the light shining at its lowest point, Hide could still make out everything. He remembered the day...the hour...the store they were at—Kaneki looked nervous of course, with Hide's arm warped around him. He always looked nervous whenever Hide was around....  
  
Frowning, Hide proceeded to flip the pages. He saw long paragraphs of notes in different hand writing, he and Kaneki's hand writing to be correct. This was the book the two had used in class to pass notes to each other. They'd stopped when they got older, when they had phones. But to Hide this was a keep sake.

He felt nostalgic as he read all their long, silly conversations. Some of them were dumb, others were illegible, but Hide didn't care. It was the only part of Kaneki, other than Ken, he still had left. He planned to cherish whatever he could.

 

That night, he fell asleep to the pages and memories concealed within his hands.

OooOoOoOoOoO

 

The next morning Hide continued his routine, cleaning both boys this time, and opening the shop by himself. Eventually, as customers began to fill the shop, Keiichi hurried in from the back, though he seemed a little calm despite his tardiness.

 

“It's nice of you to show.” Hide had called from the front desk, after writing down someone's order.

 

“Yes well, I woke up late.” Keiichi replied, taking the slip of paper from Hide's hand. “But there aren't really that many people! You didn't need me.” He vanished to his station, making the two coffees the customers had asked for. Hide had fiddled nervously with the register before speaking up again. “So how was it? Your anniversary dinner?”

 

“It was great...” Keiichi paused for a while, distant and rather mellow. Hide turned around to face him, worried by the drop in his tone. Hide realized that he looked oddly sad, troubled almost, as he poured the ice in both coffee cups. Hide had rarely, if ever, seen him like this.

 

“Is everything okay, Keiichi?” With the lack of customers, it was easy for Hide to sneak away from his station and stand by his friend. The blue haired chef simply nodded.

 

“It's fine...I just, you know...” Turning his back, he took a deep breath and continued. “I know this is selfish of me, but...I've been dying to tell someone this. I just...ugh, in all the three years we've been married, it seems like the CCG has really taken advantage of Take...He hardly tells me anything, but I have my ways of figuring out what's going on. And now, after this stupid auction raid...it seems like things are out of his hands..” By this time, the cups were filled to the brim with ice. Sighing, Keiichi made way to fix his error, as he did so he continued to talk. “I don't know how to ask him...but I want him to just leave the CCG. The people there....are so arrogant...I don't care if Take is strong, I just don't want them using him...I just wish he could quit, that's all. I could support our family...he doesn't need to work himself.”

 

Hide frowned. “I don't think it's as basic as Mr. Hirako quitting. When I was an investigator's assistant, I heard that he was really strong. I mean, you know that...you should be happy that the CCG recognizes him. I know you worry about him, but he'll be fine. He has a lot of pride tied to the CCG and his job...”Hide didn't know how else to explain it, and Keiichi was visibly agitated by the whole subject.

 

“Well it's stupid.” The smaller boy mumbled, handing Hide the cleaned and prepared coffees. Rolling his eyes, Hide delivered the drinks to the waiting customers and returned to the back desk where Keiichi was leaning against the counter, checking his phone.

 

“How was your sleep?” He asked Hide, placing his phone in his apron pocket. “Forgive me for not asking before.”

 

“Fine.” Hide lied. “And the kids slept well too.”

 

 

OoOoOoOo

 

Upstairs, and gazing outside of the window like a tiny hawk was non other than Ken. He vaguely remembered his meeting with the strange man the night before, and wanted more than anything to see him again. Unlike Koiichi, Ken rarely if ever left the restaurant so he hardly saw anyone other than his makeshift family. Seeing another person for the first time in his life was exciting. Not only that, but this person was unlike anything he'd ever expected. He was tall (taller than Hide), well dressed...he looked important.

 

Ken just had to see him again. He didn't know what he'd say or what he'd do, but everything would be fine, just as long as he saw him again.

OoOoOoOoOoO

 

Early on that morning, Haise had already gotten dressed and ready. For the most part, his squad was still asleep and unaware of his early morning departure. Given how the day prior began, Haise wouldn't dream of getting up even earlier than he did. However, there he was, dressed up, no longer tired. He'd lost sleep that night, tossing and turning, trying to make sense of his life. He'd advised himself countless times to forget all that happened, to not return to the restaurant from the night before. However, that's where he was headed, at that very moment.

 

It was a trap he knew, as every sensible fiber in his being advised him against it, but this was a key to his memory. A key he needed.

 

Still silent, Haise opened his bedroom door and stepped out. His intention was to dart down the hall way and to the front door, as not to wake any of his members. However, that plan was ruined the second he'd stepped over the threshold. As he prepared to sprint down the hall way, he ungracefully collided into one other resident in that house. That being Urie Kuki, fully dressed and awake—just like Haise.

 

“Good morning Urie! You're up early!” Haise, by default had a nervous smile on his face, Urie wore the causal frown.

 

“ 'Morning.” He replied looking away. “Sorry, I just need to get going.” As usual, he was quick and direct, not really staying long enough to grace Haise with the information of where he was going, and where he was the night before. Haise was curious however. “Where are you off too this early, Urie?”

 

“I could ask you the same question.” The investigator replied, catching Haise off guard.

 

“Oh um...Akira needs me.” He lied. “Some simple planning tactics.”

 

“Kuroiwa and I have some training to do.” Urie replied bluntly.

 

“Well, I'll see you later then...” It was odd, Haise knew there was some bitterness between Kuroiwa and Urie, but he didn't ponder on it. He took the front exit while Urie took the back exit. He had a feeling they both were doing something they weren't supposed to, but it didn't matter. As long as they got to their destinations.

OoOoOoOoO

 

 

Haise made it back to the cafe abruptly, seating himself and grabbing a menu from his table. He looked around the place, gazing at the customers. Some dressed in suits, others in fine clothing. Haise had done some research on this place while on his way. The cafe had an unusual name ; _Bernard_ it was called. It catered to a large crowd, and from what Haise had read, the cafe had superb reviews. The staff was small, but nevertheless it was very prestigious —and not just in Japan. The cafe ranged from small establishments in Japan, to large scale restaurants in foreign countries. It was a successful business. 

 

Haise continued to look around towards the front desk and through the kitchen window. He saw a waiter...or a waitress, it seemed more like, changing the pastries. Haise continued to stare at her until she stood up and went towards the register. Eventually, she too looked around and caught Haise's eyes. It was then, he got a better view of her—collar length blue hair, pale skin, olive green eyes..glasses...She was pretty, but oddly, she had a very striking resemblance to Haise's mentor, Arima. He'd seen pictures of Arima when the investigator was young, and it seemed as if this young girl could have been his sister or relative.

 

Eventually, she noticed that is eyes remained on her, and the rather bland, Arima like expression she wore transformed into that of disgust and annoyance. It seemed as if Haise's very presence brought her discomfort. Frowning, Haise averted his gaze and continued to look around. He'd half hoped to see the young boys, but at the same time, he'd hoped not too. Then, he could simply pass them off as a dream—a mistake. He could tell himself that there were no children, that he was just seeing things. This would after all, make things a lot easier.

 

“Hello sir, thank you for coming. May I take your order please?” Haise was caught off guard by the waiter's request, but placed his menu down and looked up. “Sure...” The investigator mumbled. “I'll take a....” He paused momentarily, gazing into the soft, yet unsettled brown eyes of the brunette standing above him. At that moment, Haise wasn't quite sure of what took over him. He felt the 'other' person inside of him, moving around, and waking for the first time that day. As usual, his attempts to cancel him out were futile, as something about the waiter made it impossible for him to even think straight.

 

“Sir,” The waiter continued, though both his tone and demeanor had changed. “C..can I...”

 

“Hide.” Haise spoke, and it wasn't entirely _his_ voice.

OoOoOoOoOoO

 

Hide's grip upon the small clipboard grew tighter and tighter. His palms were sweating, his throat was dry; he was a nervous wreck, internally at least. He tried not to show it, he tried to make his deep breaths and heavy gulps unnoticeable, but his body wasn't working nearly as well as he wanted it too.

 

And to make matters even worse and more unpredictable...he had said _his_ name. He, Haise...Kaneki... Had said _his_ name, after _all_ those years, after _all_ that happened. But this couldn't be...it was impossible. Hide knew of Haise's condition, he knew of Arima, the CCG...the amnesia...but yet here Haise was, as confused as ever, with Hide's name just shy of his lips.

 

_He looks so nice....after all these years. Better than me...he must have a nice home...nice friends...a good income..._

 

Hide couldn't stop these thoughts from going through his mind, although he knew how toxic they were for him. So for seconds, he stood there with a crooked smile on his face, gazing into Haise confused, and hurt eyes.

 

“I have to go.” Breaking the silence, the investigator stood, but Hide, completely unaware of his own feelings shook his head.

 

“No...no, I have...Let me get you a cup of coffee?” He couldn't help the fact that he was so desperate, but he hated it. “I'll get it—” At that moment, Haise stood rather abruptly, causing the chair to scratch the surface of the restaurant floor. From the other tables, worried customers looked on, attempting to see what the commotion was.

 

“I have to go, please...just...” Haise's lips parted, slightly as he attempted to press himself to speak. _Just a few more words...just a chance to be direct._ He had to speak...But he couldn't, not as he looked into those soft, broken, brown eyes. It was as if he'd seen them before...begging Haise not to go...but to stay...

 

_Not Haise...Kaneki..._

 

“Please, just sit for a second.” The brunette made way to touch him, but he backed up.

 

“I'll....I need to go.” Haise, reclaiming himself, took a breath. “I um...my squad, they need me....I have an, investigation—I'll be back another day.” Haise took a few steps back, still gazing at Hide. He bumped into a few tables as he refused to break his gaze with the brunette. The customers were getting worried, but none of them said a word. They all stared.

 

“Wait,” Hide foolishly took clumsy steps forward with his hand out, making way to take hold of Haise's arm, but the investigator was too quick. He left Hide standing there with a crooked, unstable smile on his face. There were few customers looking at him, concerned with his expression, but there was nothing they could do.

 

Hide felt as if three years were coming back to haunt him in the worst way possible.

OoOoOoOoOo

 

From upstairs, with his pudgy face still pressed up against the window, Ken continued to look from the bed room.

 

Sitting in the middle of the floor, a few feet away from him was Koiichi, and in front of him sat a medium sized, tanned colored Shiba dog. The dog was his, and it had in the past, grown a habit of getting out of the fence at home and running to the cafe, entering from the back to find the boy. None of the adults knew this, though he didn't come every day. However, that day, the little boy sat there holding a marker in his hand, staining the Shiba's fur with colors of blue and green. Earlier Ken had helped Koiichi color the Shiba, but as of now, the two were busy with their own things. Though occasionally, Koiichi looked up from his task and saw Ken staring outside of the window, hoping to see the same guy from yesterday.

 

“He's not coming back you know...we probably scared him away.” The little brunette called.

 

“But he said he would.” Ken pouted. “It's not fair...we aren't even scary...” The boy's words fell silent upon his lips as he suddenly spotted the pudding haired man exiting the restaurant and walking across the street. His little heart began to speed up, and nervously he jumped on the balls of his feet. The strange man actually came back! How did he not notice?

 

Though, it didn't quite matter now—all that mattered was that Ken could still catch up to him. He didn't know what he'd say or what he'd do even, but anything was worth a shot. “Koiichi I see him! I'm going to say hello to him!” The toddler yelled backing up from the window. Frowning, and still coloring his dog, Koiichi shrugged. “I think I'm going to stay here...have fun.”

 

Feeling slightly disheartened, Ken rolled his eyes and darted out of the door.

OoOoOoOoOoO

 

Haise's intentions had faltered greatly.

 

He didn't mean to react the way he did, he didn't mean to frighten the waiter or make him uneasy, but he had no choice in the matter. He'd tried to battle with his self conscience, he'd tried to push those irrelevant memories out of his head, but it appeared he lacked the will power. And it was something about _this_ cafe, that brought out the worst and yet, Haise couldn't depart from it. He was a coward yes, but this place held some type of memory. He only needed to know what it was before he could truly disassociate himself from it. Perhaps he would ask his squad to come with him next time to bring him some form of comfort and support. 

 

Yes, having his squad, his family, with him would make things all the more comfortable and better for the situation. He'd have the support he needed, if and when his mind acted up again.

 

Feeling better than earlier, Haise continued his walk across the street. With his thoughts completely taking over, he was unaware of the little boy running blindly into the street after him, yelling “Mister!” over and over again. Perhaps, if he would not have been so reluctant to turn around, and listen to the feeling in his gut, he would've seen the blond haired boy running into the dangerous sea of cars, trying to come after him. But he didn't. He was already on the other side when the child stepped into the street, and the traffic lights began to work against his favor.

OoOoOoOoOoO

 

While Ken had never seen a car in person, he knew how dangerous they could be. Though he wasn't quite paying attention. He'd made it into the street just in time to hear a car screeching his way. Fortunately, Ken had jumped back to the side walk just in time, completely oblivious to the fact that the driver was yelling vulgar language at him out of the window.

 

He remained at the edge of the road, as traffic sped on before him. His arm was outstretched and his mouth was still wide open, mouthing out the word “Mister” over and over again. But the funny haired man couldn't hear him.

 

Either he couldn't or he didn't want too, Ken didn't know. He was just hurt a little; the man said he'd come back, and he did, yet, Ken didn't get to see him. He half hoped he'd return the next day, and the two could talk again, yet he didn't find that likely.

 

So pouting in defeat, the little toddler turned around and headed back towards the alley.

OoOoOoOoO

 

At home, Haise was of course, distraught.

 

He'd entered the living room without much of a word, attempting to make it to his room without disturbing his squad. That attempt, faltered however, as Mutsuki caught view of him from the kitchen. Sensing his leader's distress, the Quinx member abandoned his task and followed Haise to his bed room.

 

Haise's head was in his hands as he sat on the edge of his mattress, completely unaware that Mutsuki was in the room. The green haired investigator knocked lightly against the door frame prompting Haise to stick his head up.

 

“Sorry...Tooru, is there something you need, I just have a headache_”

 

“I could ask you the same question, Sasaki-san...” Mutsuki slowly stepped over the threshold and made way to Haise bed where he sat down. “you seemed restless, so I was just worried. Um...I know it's not really my place, but if something is bothering you, you can talk to me about it. You deal with so much and I hate to see you stressed.” Mutsuki smiled, and Haise sighed, giving off a light, hopeless smile in return.

 

“There is something...I uh, later today or tomorrow, would you guys feel comfortable going to a new cafe with me?”

 

Mutsuki blinked. “Erm...sure, I don't see why not!” He replied. “Is that all?”

 

“No...do you care to listen? Something has been bothering me lately.”

 

Tooru chuckled. “I'm all ears....”

 

Sasaki gave a hopeless sigh before continuing on with his story.

OoOoOoOoOoOo

 

Hide had found himself in his room, locked away during his break, sitting bewildered on the edge of his bed.

 

He hadn't cried like this for as long as he could remember, but that day he couldn't quite stop the tears from falling...he was furious. He was furious at Haise, for being Haise...for _not_ being Kaneki. For leaving him when he needed him the most, and becoming a part of another family. He was angry at himself for the way he'd acted. He was so out of character, running on pathetic desperation—it was embarrassing.

With his head down, and his lips quivering, he tried to bite back tears but it was nearly impossible. He had just seen his best friend, his soul mate, and the father of his child, look at him like he was a monster... _Kaneki,_ looked at him in disgusts...

 

The moment he allowed a few sobs to escape his lips, his door had unlocked and Keiichi stepped quietly through the threshold. He had a plastic bag in his hand which he set on Hide's dresser as he joined the brunette on his bed. Quietly, gazing over Hide, Keiichi put a hand on his shoulder, slightly catching him off guard. Hide sniffled a bit and sat up, rubbing the tears out of his eyes. “Sorry...I'll get back to work later.” He apologized.

 

“It's fine, you can have the rest of the day off.” Keiichi's lips curved to a smile. “It must be hard right? Seeing him again, after all these years?” Hide took a painful breath and nodded.

 

“I didn't ever expect him...to come here....it's very hard.” Hide let out a chuckling sob. “Seeing him like that...is hard...knowing that...that he has friends...that he has a...family practically...He's so happy, he's better off...it hurts you know? But I'm being selfish...”

 

“No,” Keiichi took off his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose. “you aren't being selfish, at all. What you are feeling is normal...it's an emotion evoked when we see the people we love, whether they are with us, or not. Don't feel ashamed for today, or the way you feel Hide. It has to be terrible....what the CCG has done is terrible. They are terrible people.” He took a deep breath. “You should not ponder on it however, nor let it take over you. I don't want you to believe that Haise, and your Kaneki are the same person...I don't want to sound blunt when I say this, but Haise is very bad company. Given just what Ken is, you should know that Haise is close to Arima, and if ever Haise lets the information slip of your whereabouts and Ken's...your son could be taken away. And you, Hide, could be killed for you acts against the CCG during the Anteiku raid three years ago....”

 

Allowing that all to sink in, Hide shivered. What Keiichi was saying hurt, but it was true. Hide had known of Haise's situation, but never really believed that he could put Ken in danger. It was painful either way, but perhaps it was better if Haise was so repulsed by him. Yet still...Hide's anguish wouldn't vanish any time soon. Haise at a point was Kaneki...and Hide's love for Kaneki couldn't be cured by the sudden realization that Haise was a threat to them.

 

Realizing how distraught Hide looked, Keiichi took a deep breath and smiled. “Hide, the things we lose always have a way of coming back to us in the end, if to always in the ways we expect...” He slowly stood, and gave Hide a hug. “Your love for Kaneki was genuine, as was his love for you...and Kaneki is gone now, but he will come back. And as much as we want to believe that Haise returning is Kaneki...he is not. Do not fool yourself into believing that. But when Kaneki comes back..it will be unexpected. Yet at the same time, it will be wonderful...so please wait, and don't give up hope.”

 

Keiichi left Hide there alone, contemplating on their discussion. He didn't know what to say or what to think. His body only allowed him little thought, so with the energy he had left, he fell to his side and rested his head on a pillow. His eyes caught sight of the plastic bag sitting on the desk top but he didn’t feel like inspecting it.

  
Sleep was the cure he needed at that moment, if only temporary.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keiichi's quote was from “Harry Potter: Order of the Phoenix” in which Luna said to Harry to comfort him after Sirius death. 
> 
> Keiichi was the girl Haise saw, he just looks feminine and there's a reason for that.
> 
> Hide does know of Haise's situation completely, which is why he's so conflicted. He figured out during the three year time span with Keiichi's help. Their friendship will be explained later on, for instance, how they met when Hide was running away from Shuu after Kaneki was taken, in addition to more information about Keiichi. I'll bring their past up a bit next chapter. 
> 
> There will be another HidexHaise reunion next chapter with Ken. But guys, grab your tissues, because shit will get real. If you thought this was angsty, the wait until next time.
> 
> On Hide's character...it may seem like he's slightly OOC (gloomy, and during this chapter, very odd), but put yourself in his shoes. When Kaneki and Hide figured out about Ken, they were both happy. Ken was going to be Kaneki's happiness and Hide, who wanted to make Kaneki happy no matter what, was happy for him. And they loved each other, they were best friends. 
> 
> Now, knowing what has happened, imagine just how Hide feels. He's had his best friend and partner ripped from him, in addition, Ken's father. And now he sees him completely clueless. And not only that, but he is aware that Haise has some sort of “family” set up within the CCG. Hide won't admit it easily but he feels abandoned, betrayed and forgotten...this will be touched up more later, but I just want to explain his character.
> 
> Anyway, I do hope you enjoy. Remember, please leave a comment if you like it! It would mean so much to me if you did!!
> 
> Until next time then!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are some flashbacks in this chapter, but not too many. There will be a lot more as the story progresses. And like I said, this chapter is going to be sad. The next few chapters are going to be sad, so be ready to descend into sadness. But again, please comment if you like it! Comments make me very happy and I appreciate them so much! Also read the end notes too! There is a link to a picture of Ken and Koiichi! But please, I hope you enjoy this chapter, I enjoyed writing it!

“ _If it's a girl, we should name her Sen...”_

 

“ _After Takatsuki Sen?” Hide giggled. “That's so like you.” Kaneki rolled his eyes in response, “I didn't see you coming up with any interesting names Hide.” The blond retorted by shrugging and turning his back to Kaneki in the bed. The half ghoul pulled Hide into an embrace from behind, making sure to place a warm hand over his abdomen._

 

“ _What if he's a boy?” Hide whispered. “I hope he looks like you.”_

 

“ _It would be better if he looked like you, Hide.” Kaneki snapped._

 

“ _It would be better if he didn't look like any of us...we're fugitives of the CCG....we don't need someone else wearing one of our faces...”Hide's voice drifted into the darkness as both he and Kaneki slowly surrendered to sleep. Hide's eyelids grew heavier and heaver with every second that went by. Turning around, he buried his face into Kaneki's chest before taking a heavy yawm._

 

“ _If he's a boy...Kaneki...I want to name him Ken...he may not be able to look like you, but he can have your name...and hopefully, he'll be just like you...”_

 

_Hide waited for a response from Kaneki, but he never got one. Sighing, he closed his eyes and went to sleep._

OooOoOoOoOo

 

“Daddy...” The high pitched voice caused Hide's ears to ring, but in his current state of sleep all he wanted to do was ignore it. “Daddy wake up! It's morning!” Hide's nose scrunched, and his eyelids fluttered, but he remained silent, attempting to grasp the dream he was currently forced out of. “Daddy! It's morning! I'm hungry!!!”

 

Hide's eyes peeled open at that moment. Tiredly, he stared on a head and saw a tiny little Ken sitting on his stomach. The pressure was almost uncomfortable. However, that morning, Ken looked agitated. Yet, the most obscure feature Hide noticed was the fact that his little son was completely naked.

 

“K..Ken...” Hide muttered. “What's...where are your—”

 

“I had a bad dream daddy. I couldn't help it this time! But I took all my clothes off so you wouldn't have to do it for me!!!”

 

_Oh dear..._ Hide thought before yawning and sitting up.  _What a way to be greeted by having to change Ken's sheets... Kaneki would have loved to wake up to something like this._

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

 

An hour later Hide found himself in the shop, eating a pastry he'd made for himself. Having arrived ten minutes before hand, Keiichi sat at one of the empty tables reading a culinary magazine. That day the shop was closed and for the most part things were quiet and both employes were kept to themselves. Hide had finished his pastry soon after he'd made it and found himself rising from his chair to toss it in the trashcan.

 

Absently, he threw the crumbled paper into the bin, listening as it landed. It made a soft thump against the empty surface, echoing through the metal interior. For a few seconds, Hide stood there, listening to the light ripples of sound. It didn't take him long to become lost in his own thoughts, as repetitive as they were. They were like the ripples and echoes, decreasing only to become larger and larger...more and more painful with every memory, Hide thought. Quietly, he turned on his heel and looked around the empty cafe. He could envision people there as they'd always been, children running, couples laughing. He could smell the warm coffee and the slightly burnt bread that everybody seemed to crave. He could feel the happiness that brought the cafe to life.

 

And then, through the corner of his eye, he could almost picture a young investigator sitting at one of the tables with his briefcase propped up against the chair. He took his coffee black, not even sugar would please him. He was a ghoul after all, Haise Sasaki to be specific. The name itself caused more anxiety than the person but at that moment, Hide didn't mind. He'd only stare at the place Haise had been...two days ago it had seemed. Only two days ago. It seemed more like two years ago.

 

“Hide, what's on your mind?” Keiichi had placed his magazine down and currently had his bespectacled eyes glued on Hide. “You seem lost in thought. Is there something you would like to talk about?”

 

“Um...” Hide shrugged and made way to Keiichi's table where he sat rather carefully. “It's nothing important it's just that, I was dreaming last night. You know...about Ken and Kaneki...I think it was more of a memory though. I remember that night perfectly.” He hopelessly laughed right before placing a hand in his hair nervously. He itched around and slumped his shoulders. “That was the last conversation we had before...before...he...you know....” Inevitably, things grew silent between the two. There was a heavy air of tension as both Hide and Keiichi avoided eye contact. Hide supposed Keiichi felt guilty for asking and practically forcing the truth out of him. So shifting in his chair, Hide looked towards Keiichi with a smile painted on his face.

 

“In all the years I've known you, you never told me how Koiichi got his name. I'd like to know. Is there a reason as to why his name compliments yours so much?” Hide beckoned. Keiichi rose an eyebrow and forced a smile almost as fake as Hide's.

 

“Well, because I'm a CCG experiment, Koiichi was born in a CCG lab and he too was labeled as a CCG experiment. After I had him, the doctor who was in charge of it all planned to name him Keiichi 0.2 without my permission of course. However, he changed the wording of the name by accident...so instead of 'Keiichi 0.2' his name turned out to be 'Koiichi'..” Keiichi rolled his eyes. “That name went down in the CCG files, and of course I didn't like it. I tried to change his name but Take thought it was interesting and because he has ownership rights over both of us I didn't have a say in it. And I still hate the name...”

 

Both employes laughed though the humor drifted into silence again. Hide rested his head upon the table and gazed ahead towards the open window. He watched the cars that drove by, and the people that walked on the sidewalk. He grinned as he saw brown strands of his own hair fall into view. “Hey...” He breathed quietly. “Haise...he's an experiment too, isn't he?”

 

“Hide, please don't think about Haise anymore. The thought of him will only make you sick.” Keiichi gently placed a hand on his friend's shoulder. “We can do something nice today, can't we? We have nothing to do here. Let's take the kids out to eat or something!”

Hide, who was lost in his own thoughts simply shrugged. “Sounds nice...” He muttered. “B...but, I think I want to go out for a bit. Is that okay? By myself?” Keiichi watched in concern, as Hide's eyes seemed rather dull. Perhaps it would be best for him to say no, but it was quite evident that Hide needed some time alone.

 

“Yeah...that's fine. We'll be ready when you get back.”

OoOoOoOoOo

 

“Hey Sasa-san.” Shirazu yelled from across the table in the CCG lobby. “Maybe later on today we can go back to that :Re restaurant? That waitress seemed pretty nice the last time we met her!” Haise who was before hand, trapped in his own thoughts, blinked rather quickly as Shirazu grabbed his attention.

 

“Uh..” Haise replied rather confused. At that moment, sitting next to him at the table, and audible sigh was heard from Akira as she shifted positions in her seat.

 

“With all that's going on Shirazu, perhaps relationships wouldn't be the best thing for you to think about.” She reprimanded, gazing at Shirazu. The able, excluding Urie who was actually there that day, erupted into soft laughter. Shirazu turned red in embarrassment. Haise gave an enthusiastic smile before going back to his own thoughts. His mind for some time during the day had been stuck on the cafe, and the incident he had with the waiter. He felt guilty and had mused over an apology. He would have gone that day if only the cafe had been open.

 

He'd have to go the next day, but to tackle the uneasy feeling that came with stepping through that threshold, he would bring his squad with him. That way things would go smoothly. He wouldn't feel alone, and they could get in and out with a quick cup of coffee. It would work out if he had them with him.

 

“Maman...” Saiko's tired voiced dragged through the better part of Haise's mind as she literally pulled on his arm, bringing him back to reality.

 

“Saiko! What's up?” His response was quick as he'd realized that he'd spaced out.

 

“Maman would be cute with Ihei-san!” Instinctively, Haise blushed red followed by looking around in shock.

 

“She may have a crush on you.” Mutsuki added. “She loves talking about you whenever she can.”

 

“Special Class Ui always gets upset however.” Akira spoke from across the table.

 

“Ihei-san always...talks about...Sasa...” Shirazu was in obvious astonishment as he looked nervously ahead at Haise

 

“That's sweet, really it is!” Haise placed his hands in front of his face in defense. “But I...don't feel the same way! Maybe we should become friends first?” He waited for his team to reply, however, at that moment, Urie's phone rang. The silent, purple haired investigator stood up and took his phone. Without a word he was headed towards the door.

 

Mutsuki, who seemed worried from his chair stood and made way to follow Urie. “Kuki...wait a second, is everything alright—”

“Yeah it's fine. But please leave me alone.” He snapped back. “And don't address me so casually.” With that he was gone, already down the hall way. His squad looked on curious while Mutsuki looked hurt.

OoOoOoOoOo

 

At that very moment in time, Hide couldn't quite understand what had taken over him. He was aware that he had long lost himself the moment he'd stepped out of the cafe and that he had allowed some spirit of desperation to take over his fragile mind. It was the only thing that made any sense, it was the only thing that could be blamed for his careless actions a that moment.

 

He stared a head, blankly across the street. Past the speeding cars and flashing lights, Hide's eyes rested upon the all too familiar, large CCG building. He could remember the establishment perfectly as if he'd never left. To the tallest brick on the building to the large intimating entrance. His memories began to play automatically like a repeating cassette tape. He remembered the long days with Mr. Seidou, and the bickering between he and Akira. He remembered Amon's kindness and Marude's tendency to be rude or out spoken. He couldn't quite remember a time when he'd shared a conversation with Juuzo, but he would have loved too. He would have loved to get to know him a bit more, all of them actually. Reliving that time in his life would have been wonderful because back then, he was aware of what he was doing. He felt like he had a purpose then, and that he wasn't a burden like he was now.

 

Absently, in a possessed manner, Hide had taken a foot to the street. Within seconds, his mind pulled him emotionlessly towards the over populated road. He was unaware of the car horns blaring, the tires screeching and the drivers screaming. He physically could not see the danger he faced—only vivid images of the people from his past filled his vision at that very moment. He could see Seidou smiling from across the street, Amon waving...and lastly, Kaneki standing there with warm eyes. He welcomed Hide with open arms as he did all those years ago, mouthing out inaudible words at the same time. The feeling of love grew in his heart as he continued to make his strides towards the CCG unaware of the current life threatening situation he'd placed himself in to.

 

And when he snapped back into reality, when he heard the car horn grow louder and louder, when the visions finally disappeared and he was met with the bumper of a large cargo truck, Hide knew it was too late. In those few moments he could see his life flash before him. Internally, with the short amount of time he had left, he chastised himself. He wondered just how he was able to let his emotions take over him so easily; how they could control him like he was some brainless puppet. The car skidded closer and closer and with every centimeter, Hide could see his light dimming. With his eyes closing on instinct, he could see Ken in the back of his mind, smiling and waiting for him to get home seconds before receiving the terrible news of Hide's death...

 

_How could I be so stupid?_

 

One final screech and he heard the collision of metal, he felt the sharp breeze, and the tiny particles of concrete grazed his cheeks and clothes...but other than that, Hide remained unharmed. Opening his eyes, he looked around the area and quickly realized that the truck had indeed crashed, however not an inch of him had taken any damage. Looking a head he noticed that, standing a foot in front of him, with a large purple kagune sprouting from his shoulder blade, was a young man. From behind, Hide could tell that he'd stopped the truck with his kagune, as he stood there, deploying it back into his shoulder blade.

 

“Watch where you're going next time.” He called towards the truck driver. “If you were paid for actually focusing on the road then you'd be broke by now.” The boy was tall, and he had a head of shaggy purple hair. He wore a black blouse, black slacks, black everything. He turned around slowly and faced Hide, just to make sure he was okay. “You need to adhere to the street warnings. Are you dumb? What idiot walks so blindly into the street...” One hand was on his hip, the other was preoccupied with his cell phone and from what Hide could hear, it sounded like a feminine voice was screaming on the other end at the top of her lungs. She did not seem happy one bit. “You wait here...I need to go get Sasaki-san, maybe that idiot can help me get you to the hospital—hey!”

 

At the mention of Sasaki, Hide was already on his feet, running back across the street. It didn't take rocket science for Hide to figure out that his savior was one of the Quinx, the one's that Haise watched over. If anything Hide wanted as little as possible to do with them.

OoOoOoOoOoO

When Hide returned the the cafe, he was a disheveled mess. Keiichi, who was sitting at one of the empty tables reading another culinary magazine, hadn't yet noticed him. When he realized Hide had entered, he stood to greet him enthusiastically, however he saw the expression of distress in Hide's eyes.

 

“Hide...is...is everything alright?” Keiichi's worry was contained in a frantic whisper.

 

“I almost got hit by a truck.” Hide admitted. “Because I tried to go towards the CCG building. I was across the street and I tried...” The brunette shook his head. “I...I don't know what's wrong with me...I wasn't...I'm not myself.” He hopelessly a smile. “I just...I don't know what's wrong with me anymore...Something is hurting inside and I don't know what it is. I hate feeling like this...I hate feeling like I never mattered in the first place.”

 

“That's not true.” Keiichi coaxed, rushing towards Hide. “You're useful, you matter...don't think that just because one person doesn't remember nor accept you means that you aren't loved. You're very loved Hide...please don't....Hide...Hide...?”

 

Keiichi's frantic voice began to drift into a sea of thoughts as Hide became weaker and weaker. He lost his balance before he knew it, and within seconds he came spiraling to the ground. Keiichi caught his head before it hit the floor but by that time he was adrift, unconscious. The room around him became dark; his mind became heavy and clouded with thoughts. He could hear voices everywhere, worried voices, but he couldn't pay much mind to them. He was already gone. Drifting away through a sea of nostalgia trying to find a better place.

 

_I was able to get access to Sasaki's files...._ That was Keiichi's voice, some time ago. Hide remembered that day very well. Ken was just born, his eyes were barely open. Hide was tired and sick, yet at the same time desperate to find Kaneki.

 

_Is he...? Is he Kaneki?_ Hide had asked hoarsely.  _He's not, is he? He can't be...they just.._

 

_Haise Sasaki is Kaneki Ken with amnesia. Granted the CCG has a part in repressing his memories, however, for the most part has forgotten everything and is reluctant to remember....I...I am sorry Hide._

 

Hide remembered bursting into tears like a child, crying more than Ken ever had in his first few days of being alive. At that moment, Keiichi placed a comforting hand on his shoulder.

 

_Please don't cry Hide. You aren't alone...you can live here in my cafe for as long as you need to. You and Ken... you'll be taken care of. Don't weep for the future, just weep for the pain you feel now. Your happiness will return...._

 

Even amidst his tired and unconscious state, Hide felt some form of comfort, even if it wasn't the comfort he was looking for.

OoOoOoOoOo

 

That night, Haise had just finished cooking dinner for the squad, excluding Urie who was not there. Mutsuki looked visibly discomforted by Urie's absence but kept to himself as he and the rest of the squad ate. Haise sat down and continued to drink his coffee, gazing at his squad members. Saiko and Shirazu were talking, Mutsuki remained silent.

 

“Do you guys like the food?” Haise asked mainly to break the silence. There was an agreement in unison, bringing a smile to Sasaki's face. Nervously he looked at his hands, averting his attention away from his squad.

 

“Sasaki-san, what's wrong?” Mutsuki asked quietly, reaching a hand over the table and placing it upon Haise's arm. “Is it the cafe? We didn't go today...we can still go tomorrow.”

 

Haise heart warmed. “You'd be willing to go with me still?”

 

“Of course.” Mutsuki calmly replied. “All of us...”

 

“Thank you. The cafe...it just makes me feel uneasy but...” He drifted.

 

“I understand, we all do. It's fine, Sasaki-san.”

OoOoOoOoOoOo

 

Hide hadn't woken up that night after he'd fainted. He was still alive, but he hadn't regained consciousness since he'd passed out. Keiichi hadn't left his side, he'd even called a doctor to the cafe just to check on Hide. If it was any comfort, he was informed that Hide was simply stressed out and dealing with a difficult emotional strain. His body just needed to shut down for him to handle it.

 

Still, Keiichi had every right to be worried. He knew what was happening to Hide, he knew that things could very well go down hill from here on out—it just wasn't fair for Hide, nor Ken, nor any of them. The CCG had such a way of trying to force themselves into lives that didn't need their interference and ruining them shortly after. Keiichi only hoped they wouldn't get Hide.

 

In the next room, feeling less anger and more worry was of course Ken. He hadn't seen Hide pass out but he could hear everything that happened from Keiichi and the doctor. On top of that, he was also worried that Hide wouldn't wake up.

 

“He's not dead.” Koiichi had comforted him, seeing the distress on his face. “If he was dead, he would have gotten all stinky.” Ken remained on the bed, looking down at his folded hands. Koiichi crawled next to him and place a hand on top of Ken's. “It's alright Ken, please don't be sad. Things will get better tomorrow, I promise!”

 

It was more instinct than it was a genuine feeling, but Ken returned a hopeful smile.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do hope you all enjoyed the chapter, I enjoyed writing it. The next chapter will be considerably more downlifting (is that a word), I promise this, but I won't really over hype it! But I do hope you appreciated the little flashbacks.  
> Quick explanation.
> 
> Hide is going through a lot emotionally to the point where his emotional body is taking over him more than usual. This explains why he practically walked to the CCG building, because his sense of logic is failing him, mentally. He misses Kaneki so much that his body is attempting to make him relive the past, and he almost died for it.
> 
> And yes, the person who saved him was indeed Urie. And no, I'm not painting Urie out to be a bad character, he actually has a reason for being absent most of the time. It's actually adorable. 
> 
> And Hide did faint because of all the emotional stress he was going through and it doesn't get better for a while. 
> 
> But on an uplifting note, here is a picture (http://totalshenanigans.tumblr.com/post/125044536288/yamiga123-here-you-go-ken-and-koiichi-painting) a friend drew for me as a request. This is tumblr user totalshenanigans, and he is cool and awesome! This is an illustration of Koiichi and Ken, paiting Hirako's dog (Koiichi's dog too), blue. Which they do later in the story. It's supposed to be a little cute! Hope you like it. Again, the art is not mine, the OP is an amazing awesome, person!
> 
> Anyway, please comment and tell me what you think! I will update as soon as I possibly can! If you have any questions, don't hesitate to ask.

**Author's Note:**

> New story here!! I just needed to take a break from my others. This is kind of an experiment of my story Bloom, do tell me what you think...I'll update as soon as I can!!!


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